Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
