I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
