Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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