So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
