When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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