I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
