What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
