Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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