I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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