Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize