My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
