I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
