So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
