and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
