There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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