its not stalking. its research.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
