apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
