Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
