I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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