i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
