If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
