Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
