so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
