guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
