I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just gift wrapped bread.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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