I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
