I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
