it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
