So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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