people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There r osticjed everywhere
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
