two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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