Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
