I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
