11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
