He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize