just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
