youre lurking in front of me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You were trust falling into bushes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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