I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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