CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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