i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
