i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you had me at cake vodka
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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