Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
