BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
