Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
