he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
