So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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