hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize