it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
