That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
