I look better un-naked...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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