So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
