Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize