so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
