But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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