so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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