Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
