y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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