Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize