your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
